Like most artists, I am a harsh critic of my own work. Even looking through this blog, which I intended to use to share only the highlights of my creativity, I am often tempted to delete almost everything and to re-write the rest. The only thing that stops me is that I believe that it is important to preserve some amount of the history of my work; to alter too much, too fast would somehow be disingenuous. With that said, I will admit to editing certain things as they become more clear to me — sometimes, it takes a long time to discover what I was trying to say, or to find the words capable of expressing that clearly.
Recently, after a three-year sabbatical, I began painting again. Somewhere along the line, I had lost my inspiration. My rediscovery of it began, simply enough, as a desire to make something for my Toronto apartment (because, weirdly, I don't own any of my own art.) Instead of creating something new, I decided to revisit one of my favourite pieces.
I completed the original back in May of 2012; I believe my choice to revisit a drawing I made over five years ago reflects my desire to return some kind of familiarity to my life. Things have changed a lot, for me, in the last few months. There has been a lot of turmoil, a lot confusion, a lot of uncertainty, and it has been difficult to adjust. Painting is something I know — something I can control. It fills the long hours, out in the country, where I am currently posted.
I also wanted to revisit this piece, because it has remained relevant to me. Indeed, it has aged so well, that I have a far more favourable connection to it than I did when I first created it, mostly as a technical exercise. There is something pensive, something moody about the eyes. These are no longer just closed eyes; they are bedroom eyes. I suppose, life experiences have imbued them with meaning. Moreover, my art has matured with me. Where I once enjoyed the simplicity of the black and white contrast, I felt that the work would be much more evocative if I softened it with a blush-coloured background.
It is in acrylic and emulsion on canvas, and it was completed 18 June 2017. It measures 48"x12.6".
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